CoaguCo Industries, A Bullshit History

CoaguCo makes products that help people do things they would normally do, but different.

CoaguCo Industries was founded in 1967 by Serge La Plante, Miles Phineas Blanning, and Chester C. Wellington, and is now the 68th largest multimedia / manufacturing / pharmaceutical / development company in or around the Northwestern United States; provided such a combination of specific interests are listed and ranked.

We have continuously remained fiercely independent, while ravenously imperialistic. All over the world, CoaguCo has forged various corporate take-overs and defunct government-grade R&D project acquisitions that facilitated our ability to develop random products at rock-bottom prices. This has kept us consistently ranked as one of the many companies on the globe doing things and over two generations of employees have nurtured an environment which likes things, stuff, and anything chocolate-made.

La Plante, Blanning, Wellington, and company have been applying their trades for over 43 years in the depths of central California, while their internet-based branch was started in April 2004 in Seattle, WA. The company was later invigorated by the acquisition and absorption of a local production company which filled many of the important internal roles that the CoaguCo technicians were poorly prepared for at the time. Together, they started the first of the beginning of the new CoaguCo product line: one specifically and exclusively focusing on the digital recycling of products and expanding on the mythos of each better and newer version being worth your time.

CoaguCo's overall employee numbers recently shrank to less than 23, while our products are now marketed in over 151 countries, thanks to the amazing and wondrous internet. CoaguCo uses subterranean research and development laboratories in seven countries, two states, and one island, and conducts vague experiments on or in something over 61 countries.

Or so we would have you believe...

CoaguCo Industries, A More Correct History

A humble company with humble beginnings.

The company actually started in the city of Erie, Pennsylvania and was called Tenth&Hess Productions; focused on things like table-top RPG's and animated shorts. After deciding the weather and culture weren't that great, the studio picked up and moved to Seattle, Washington where more like-minded people joined up. It was later re-branded as CoaguCo Industries, with Tenth&Hess becoming a sub-studio of the now-parent company. CoaguCo expanded its production into video games, writing projects, art projects, mock commercials, and other related things.

After the brutal gentrification of Seattle began, CoaguCo Industries relocated to Austin, Texas in a bid to escape rising housing and production costs. And, let's face it, who really enjoys that much rain for that long? Once again, CoaguCo added in new ventures with things like software creation, goods manufacturing, and animal-rearing to it's portfolio.

Who knows what the future will bring? Probably more video games.